yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
