why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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