We won't sleep together?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
