I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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