what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
