Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
