Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
