Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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