he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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