please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
