My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
