Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
