Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
