I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
