Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
