I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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