your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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