dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
