Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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