then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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