Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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