You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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