Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
