i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
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