Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
