After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
