i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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