I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize