take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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