I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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