I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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