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that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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