Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
