So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
