dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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