ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
