I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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