Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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