So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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