So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
