You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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