you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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