I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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