Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
