Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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