Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
