He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
