This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
