So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
