my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize