Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
