my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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