we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
