i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
