she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
