So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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