this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
